You Might Just Need Your Pre-Baby BFF, After All


friendshipsWhen you have a baby, your friend list goes through some major changes. Some old friendships fade away, and you make new mom friends over time. When I first had my son, my close friends came to visit me, but it became difficult to stay in touch. Having a newborn will do this to you! Baby life takes over, and it happens often without us even noticing. All of the sudden, your “best friend forever” might not be the one you are texting in between feedings. 

I am very lucky to have found some truly amazing, supportive mom friends who have become my besties!  This did not happen quickly, but, once my son was eight months old, we started meeting more and more moms. I slowly found the ones I clicked with best and our children are within a few months of each other.

It helps to have friends with children close in age to your own, as you go through similar experiences. Every once in a while, though, I would think back to my pre-baby days, which feels like a lifetime ago, and deeply miss my old besties. 

There might not be anymore late nights at a bar or endless mimosa brunches, but I’ve learned I need my old besties. These ladies have known me forever, back to college party days and crushing over boys. We have grown up together, cried together, fought and made up.  So, after reminiscing, I decided it was time to reach out to one of my old BFF’s. Do you know what happened? We picked up right where we left off ,as if no time had passed.

My son and I went to an early dinner at my old BFF’s home, and, instead of getting tipsy in the backyard, we had quiche and chocolate while my son explored the leaves. We caught up on life, and I watched my son develop a major crush!  We talked about old times and present day life. The level of comfort with someone who knows you so well is rejuvenating! I left feeling so happy that we got to spend time together, and we promised to get together again and more often, as soon as possible. 

While I might not be at the same place in life as my old BFF is, we still have a lot to offer each other in our friendship. For example, one day she will have a baby ,and I will be able to be there to listen and offer advice, since I have already gone down that road. As a single mom who eventually wants to date again, I am hopeful she can help guide me through that experience, as she, herself, is in a beautiful marriage.  

We might not see each other weekly, as I do with my mom friends, but I am so glad that our friendship is still there. Even though I am a mom now, a piece of me will always be the girl my BFF knows. 

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Nicole is a San Francisco native who grew up in the Noe Valley neighborhood before majoring in Sociology at San Jose State University. In her third year she realized her love of children as her true calling and earned a Early Childhood Education Teaching Certificate. She taught Preschool along the Peninsula for 10 years before a rare medical condition left her unable to continue her career. Now a single mom to the apple of her eye, Joey James keeps her busy. When Nicole is not playing, teaching and snuggling with Joey James she enjoys stroller walks around the Bay Area, music, San Francisco Giants Baseball and ice cubes floating in her Chardonnay.


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